Burnout and the Mental Load with Paige Connell

Feb 13

Do you ever feel like your brain is running a never-ending checklist?

You know—keeping track of doctor’s appointments, meal planning, remembering which kid needs what for school, and somehow also figuring out when you’re supposed to breathe?

It’s called the mental load. I’ve felt it. You’ve probably felt it too. And this week on Unapologetically Yours, I sat down with Paige Connell (@sheisapaigeturner), an advocate for gender equity in marriage and parenting, to break it all down.

Paige’s work puts words to what so many of us have experienced: the frustration, the exhaustion, and the quiet resentment that builds when your partner doesn’t seem to notice all the behind-the-scenes work keeping everything afloat.

Here’s what we’ll cover in this episode:

What the mental load actually is (hint: it’s more than just chores)
How outdated gender roles show up in modern relationships
Why even “hands-on dads” can miss the invisible labor moms are carrying
How to start conversations that lead to real, lasting change
The importance of equity over equality in partnerships
And so much more!

“Make that invisible labor as visible as possible in a way that feels constructive.”

— Paige Connell

Some key takeaways from the episode:

The mental load is more than just tasks. It’s the emotional and cognitive labor of keeping track of everything—schedules, meals, appointments, school paperwork, laundry, household supplies. Even if you have a helpful partner, if they’re waiting to be told what to do, you’re still carrying the weight of managing it all.
Inequity sneaks into even the most progressive relationships. Many couples think they’re splitting responsibilities fairly—until you write it all down. Paige’s own journey toward a more balanced partnership started when she and her husband put their household responsibilities on paper and saw the gap in black and white.
Resentment won’t fix the problem, but awareness will. Instead of letting frustration fester, Paige shares how to make the invisible labor visible in a way that invites collaboration instead of conflict.
Equity is the goal, not equality. Life isn’t always a perfect 50/50 split, but the goal is for both partners to feel supported, valued, and balanced in their roles.
Change starts with conversations. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s time to talk about it. Paige shares practical ways to start these conversations with your partner in a way that leads to solutions—not fights.

Listen to the full episode at the links below:

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Listen on Spotify

Watch on YouTube

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, Why is all of this my job?—you need to hear this conversation.

And if this resonates, send me an email at podcast@unapologeticallyyours.com and tell me your thoughts. I’d love to hear your take.

Unapologetically yours,

xx Ashley Logan

Connect with me: